It's Okay to Need Help

Once again, it's been a really long time since I've posted. I'm still living at home, and have settled in a little too nicely. I've been working a few freelance editing and writing jobs that make me some money. Unfortunately, that money is quickly spent on car insurance, cellphone bill, and more recently, mental health.

It's been tough.

I grew up having really severe anxiety and depression. It was so debilitating that I rarely left the house without my parents. There were good times, and there were bad times. College was a good time. My anxiety and depression were practically nonexistant! I travelled, I hung out with friends, I tried new things! College really was a great three years.

This is a bad time.

I saw it coming all summer long. I got more depressed, I stopped wanting to try new things, I started feeling anxious more. I felt like college Erika wasn't real Erika. I felt like it was just some dream and I had regressed back into little girl Erika who feared everything. I still feel like that.

Fortunately, I wasn't ashamed of saying "Hey, I need help."

After weeks of laying in bed, unmotivated and unable to do anything but panic, I decided that seeing my psychiatrist was worth the money. He declared that my old meds just weren't doing it anymore and prescribed a booster. I was happy! I was cured! Until I saw the cost of the medication... 450 dollars. HELL NO. That's a whole different blog post/rant.

My mom agreed to split the cost of the medication, so I was able to take it. It helped my depression. I wasn't so mopey anymore, and I had more energy. But my anxiety wasn't gone, in fact, it increased. And so, I had to come to terms with the fact that pills weren't just going to make it all go away. There were some serious issues I needed to work out in order to get better.

Now I've started therapy. That's also really expensive! But honestly, its worth it. I'm tired of feeling like I'm having one giant, drawn out panic attack and I'm tired of living at home because I simply can't bring myself to do anything else.

So for anyone else going through a rough time, know that it's okay to need help and it's okay to get help. I need it. I don't deny it! I need loads of help! I'm so much more optimistic than I was before I admitted that this wasn't just a rough couple days.

So anyway, yeah, I'm going through a rough time. However, I'm seeking help and I know I'll get through this.

#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #therapy #psychiatry #medication